Posted On: Saturday - December 3rd 2016 6:27PM MST
In Topics:   Commies
I just thought a story would be funnier than what I originally wrote.
I was on the horn with the treasurer of our local communist party chapter yesterday, and he seemed all bent out of shape about the fact that I was behind on dues - just a matter of months is all, maybe 30 - 36 months. He's going on about "show me the money" and so on, and I'm all "Yo, cut a comrade some slack, OK, from each according to his ablity, and to each according to his needs, man".
Man, this hardass didn't want to hear any of this. I mean come on, I told him about the fact that I was hard up lately due to all the money for the (8-day, 7-night) cruise up the Huang He in Red (note Red, right, not the other colored one) China on the tour of Chairman Mao's and the Gang of Four's grave sites, and drinking establishments. It wasn't cheap, lemme tell ya. There was the other communist-culture enriching trip to Leningrad, which we couldn't find for the life of us on the maps, once we got to Russia. Apparently, it's been changed, and "where was the memo, Comrade?", I berated him.
Anyway, to explain further, I was all "dude, you've got to break some eggs to make an omelot." to which he replied, vehemenently, I might add, "that's why we need your damn dues money, bitch, we bought 50 dozen eggs to make omelots with, along with 5 gallons of Aunt Babushka syrup, for the Lenin/Trotsky memorial breakfast. I didn't notice you redistributing any of the 4 sausage omelots you downed, comrade!"
I apologized eventually as I don't want to be purged (though I eventually purged my omelets), and promised I would be a paid-up card-carrying member of the party by the end of the current 5-year plan, or at least the next one.