Posted On: Friday - December 13th 2019 9:36AM MST
In Topics:   Music  TV, aka Gov't Media  Feminism
Thanks to commenter Dtbb for pointing me out a quick silly story that is pretty much right in my wheelhouse. Peak Stupidity has a sub-fixation* on exercise machines. we like Tal Bachman (or at least the one song that we know, which is involved here), and well, we hate TV. OK, "2 out of 3 ain't bad", said a guy named after a hedonic substitute for top sirloin.
I watched the controversial commercial in question, and could not for the life of me figure out what the problem was. Of course, it's a little over the top and sappy, but that goes with with the territory, sales to women. Here, watch it first, and note the great Tal Bachman song, She's so High, featured here more than a year ago on Peak Stupidity:
This Peloton exercise bike is a normal sit-down one versus the recumbent ones that are easier on your back, if you do this stuff a lot. I just looked on a site called exercisebike.net, along with the rest of the web, and I don't think they make the recumbent type. That's gonna be a problem for me, but I don't think it's the problem here. Oh, and the lady is shown watching some silly TV shows, which is a problem for me only if you can't turn that shit off and just see the numbers. No, that's not it.
"This commercial is controversial!
AND, the rent is TOO DAMN HIGH!...
HIGH above me ... 🎵♬
See, Jesse Jackson and his Jackson 5 Race Hustlers ought to get in on this, as at least I've come up with an original chant for them that rhymes. It doesn't matter how stupid, "if the chant rhymes, we'll extort those dimes."
My thought above, about the sales to women, likely explains the controversy over this exercise bike commercial. See, the man who bought this machine for Christmas has done it to help keep his woman in shape. She's not at all overweight to begin with, but maybe they couldn't find a stunt double for this. Could it be that the husband wants to have his wife a little firmer, as that is better for reasons of, well, sex? Could that be the problem? I know that anything that is done just to please men is a big no-no for the feminists. I believe that's what this comes down to.
It's not cool to show women doing anything to get their bodies in better shape to please their men. Fat is supposed to be no problem now. Ask anyone. I would say the Fat is Beautiful crowd could be behind this protestation, but then, again, the woman was not any fatter at the beginning of the commercial. Maybe the machine doesn't work.
Seriously, though, you won't see any men protesting a commercial that shows a guy doing some hard nasty work in order to make a living to support the family**. It's what he's gotta do, and he doesn't do it just for himself. The converse, a woman improving her assets for her husband, is not to be shown on TV. Don't worry people, I hadn't watched it ... until Dtbb pointed it out. I think the controversy, which I don't see how Peloton could have intended, in a New Coke fashion (but it would have been damn brilliant), can only bring the brand name to the forefront and help sales in the long run.
What is perhaps intentionally missed here, is the thought that, even though it's not as likely, women can have heart trouble too. The commercial husband could have gotten the machine for cardio workouts for both of them, though, no, I didn't see him get his ass off the couch. It's not always about calories - gotta get that heart rate up, I mean toward 150-175 bpm, often.
I'll tell you what gets my heart rate up. It's that cutie in the Tal Bachman song in the video for the song in this commercial. As much as I am pleased to see this song get what I imagine will be a big revival in listening***, it sucks to hear only part of a great song like this. Besides the excellent melody, it has a guitar riff that is like a slightly-slower Peter Buck (REM) sound, in addition to good lyrics, and that video from a time when they still cared about making cool ones. (Started in 1980, ended 20 years later?) I read my post with that song again. Haha, while I'd spent that 10 minutes searching through my musical memory from the lyrics, that "like Marlon Brando .." part was obviously not from this song, but from a David Bowie song. The "Aphrodite" and "Cleopatra" parts are what finally got my brain to pull out "she's so high" and let me look it up 20 years later. The internet is good for something, after all!
Oh, yeah, my own version of the commercial follows, as I've got a minor in marketing****: We have the husband grab another package off the porch. It's also from Peloton and is a plug-in (in the REAL sense of the term) to the bike that's an electrical generator. After a call to an electrician (don't do this at home, kids), one of the house circuits can now be powered by this slim lady in a Soylent Green- like manner, as she simultaneously works on getting a firmer ass. It's a win-win. The little girl is seen learning abc's on her Kindle thanks to the power, and the husband is sitting on his ass on the couch playing Call of Duty. "Hey, honey, torque up a bit, and I need you to ride 20 more minutes - I want to watch the college football highlights." The camera pans to the UN auditorium in NY City and fades out on a smiling Greta Thunberg ...
You want controversy, you got it, bitchez!
* Read here, here, and here, for starters.
** maybe even saving a little extra for that Peloton bike.
*** I'd say "air play", but what does that mean anymore?
**** Just kidding.