Dems charge Trump with Russian March Madness collusion

Posted On: Wednesday - February 26th 2020 10:35AM MST
In Topics: 
  The Russians  Humor  Trump  Bread and Circuses

[H/T to the Comanche driver who suggested a post on this breaking story*]

Innocent basketball players or Trump agents?
You decide have no say in the matter!:

This "March Madness" coming is just another part of the Bread & Circuses provided for Americans to keep their minds "off the ball". It's one of the sportsball circuses that I never have kept up with, as basketball is in no way something I'd give a single COVID-19-infected rat's ass about, even if it were in a tasty broth.

Lots of people do care however, most, I gather, either because they believe they can make a few bucks off these NCAA playoffs or they want to "be true to their school, now, rah-rah-rah, sis-koom-ba". Well, the breaking story* is that there is Russian Collusion going on that may interfere with the outcome of the Final Four.

See, the Blue-squad of Democrats has spent a lot of time over the last 3 years trying to prove collusion between the Russians and President Donald Trump. After it turned out that a few thousand dollars spent on Facebook ads or tweets was not the biggest factor in the world affecting the Presidential election of 2016, the Blue-squad tried a different tack. It wasn't the Russians so much as the Ukrainians, they being right next door anyway and former co-Soviets of the USSR and all. Trump was accused of colluding with the Ukrainians to look into the actions of one Joe Biden, of the Blue-squad himself, regarding his obtaining special favors for his footloose son Hunter (yes, that's the kid's 1st name - see what I mean?)

Well, the 2nd attempt of a take-down of the US President based on collusion with foreign nations was stymied by that surprise evidence that Trump's phone call in question was not anything any normal person would see a problem with.

Ahaaa! Now, it's the Russians again, and they are planning on influencing the outcome of the Final Four! This is a serious allegation here. Donald Trump's Alma Mater, the Wharton School of Business, may not itself be in the Final Four, or even the Initial 32, but, well, those guys have got enough money to probably make some big bets.

Is a sitting US President using the influence of a foreign enemy, well at least 30 years ago they were, to help his Alma Mater get into the NCAA playoffs.... or at least, into the NCAA? Yes, there is that minor detail that the Wharton MBA program has nothing but a coed intramural basketball league. However, the Russian Bear is a powerful foe, and coeds can become single-eds easily these days with simple out-patient operations, the co-pays and deductibles of which would be covered by ... you guessed it, Russian strongman Putin, of course. Could this whole ruse of The Ruse be any more transparent?

As a backup impeachment charge, the Blue-squad, led by point-guard Nancy Pelosi, maintains that, if this collusion is not about Sitting- Tweeting-President Trump's Alma Mater winning in the March Madness... uh, pulling out plan B ... it's about the money. The President needs more of it (don't we all?). He's got Putin purchasing Russian ballplayers, apparently, inserting them as ringers into key college basketball powerhouses, such as Mississippi Valley State, Daytona State College, and Kentucky Wesleyan, in order to make money off the spread for the both of them, more than the Honorable Pelosi makes in 2 months! Devious! (There is top Russian Dunkski Pavel Zakharov, possibly kin to one Mr. Shukhov, aka Ivan Denisovich, straight out of the Gulag intramural ranks, playing for Gonzaga, lest we forget.)

This is criminal, outrageous, and egregious! Compared to Watergate, a simple breaking and entering, with neither any money changing hands nor any basketball being played, this is very much an impeachable offense. Per the wording of US Constitution Article 2, Section 4, the Democrats call out this latest impeachable foul of the Trump Administration, dubbed Slam-Dunk-Gate**, an act of High Traveling and Palming.

Penalties for a conviction by the US Senate will be the removal of the President from office for one quarter-term. The current bench-sitter slated to be substituted in per the obscure US Constitutional By-Laws is one Ruth Bader Ginsberg, senior member of the Supreme Court, currently sidelined due to brain injuries incurred last session due to old age.

* Yes, just a story... for fun.

** Of course, this scandal must have a gate at the end of it's title. It's been the American way for 4 1/2 decades, and we sure ain't changing it now!

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