Posted On: Tuesday - April 21st 2020 1:25PM MST
In Topics:   Humor  Science  Kung Flu Stupidity
Some of these new wives' tales of late seem to have been dropped from the Kung Flu Infotainment Panic-Fest viewing schedule lately, one being that this virus can live for days all over the place. Metal table tops, door knobs, microwave ovens, dash boards beer cans, beer cans on top of dash boards, hell itself, and even the proverbial toilet seats are fair game. It seems like the eminent experts on this epidemic have backed off, or changed their stories, lately on some of these new wives' tales.
I don't think it's a simple matter to get data on this by just taking swabs over periods of time and getting counts. I remember one very interesting thing from Biology class: A virus is not really a true living thing. Yes, it can reproduce itself, and that's the usual definition, but I just remember the teacher saying this is a gray area (don't mind that they look green and other pretty colors in electron microscope images - fake news). I took a gander at a simple Q/A on this as a reply to a 9th grader here:
Many scientists argue that even though viruses can use other cells to reproduce itself, viruses are still not considered alive under this category. This is because viruses do not have the tools to replicate their genetic material themselves.More, as the "respond to their environment" part of the definition of life is not one I recalled:
Living things respond to their environment. Whether or not viruses really respond to the environment is a subject of debate. They interact with the cells they infect, but most of this is simply based on virus anatomy. For example, they bind to receptors on cells, inject their genetic material into the cell, and can evolve over time (within an organism).That answered (NOT), a virus exists in a nether land between the dead and the living, pretty much like a zombie, but without the drama and most of the unnecessary bloodshed.
Living cells and organisms also usually have these interactions. Cells bind to other cells, organisms pass genetic material, and they evolve over time, but these actions are much more active in most organisms. In viruses, none of these are active processes, they simply occur based on the virus's chemical make-up and the environment in which it ends up.
What's the final answer?
When scientists apply this list of criteria to determine if a virus is alive, the answer remains unclear. Because of this, the debate of whether viruses are living or non-living continues. As the understanding of viruses continues to develop, scientists may eventually reach a final decision on this question.
You've got to figure that, if a virus individual, or particle (we don't want to be life-ist here!) is not inside a living thing as a parasite, he (we do use the proper gender still, per Skunk & White) is dead. I mean, at least, as with Socialist-parasite pundit Paul Craig Roberts, he's dead to me. So, you got a couple a dozen .. million .. of these creatures on a door knob still, what does that mean? Would they stay there forever, till you wash it, ready to rumble? What's the difference between them and other virae in this respect, such as the common cold? I can see them living in a 1/4" snotball that has been deposited after a sneeze until that dries up and the money's no good, but where to after that?
If everyone would stay separated and let antibodies beat up on these bastards for weeks, while we wiped off every inanimate object there is, can it not still come back from humans and other living creatures? Are we gonna have to learn to live and let live, or do it Wings and James Bond style and Live and Let Die? It think it's a little of both.
The question of the day is, who would win if it were Virus vs. Zombie? It seems like a fair match-up, and questions remain. Would a virus be able to live parasitically off the un-dead? If both of you can be considered dead anyway, what does winning even mean?
These are big questions to ponder, folks, as this post has migrated from what I was going to write about (coming next), to some philosophical nonsense that may just be stupid enough to go viral.