Posted On: Monday - May 18th 2020 7:53PM MST
In Topics:   General Stupidity  Music  Big-Biz Stupidity
Peak Stupidity has not had a very good relationship with the Starbucks coffee chain over the years. The recent, well almost 2 years ago now, brew-haha about treehugging nonsense about straws was covered here in Grasping at Straws (see also Part 2). Then there was that whole racial angle, in which the big chain caved to political correctness and threw their employees under the latte machine, noted in Starbucks - fake coupons and raising hell and Nationwide 10,000-Store Barista-Based Synchronized Struggle Session a Success!*. That was 2 years ago - man, stupidity flies!
Not much of that is personal, however, or a function of the individuals in the local branch in or to which I've been lately. Well, LATELY, as in during this Kung Flu Panic-fest, for a while we'd hang out in that general area with our own concoctions, as they've been closed.
That's what this post is (finally) about. A friend of mine had spent many hours of most days for years inside a few of the Starbucks locations near him to do his entrepreneurial type work. He'd purchase coffee, of course, as his being a white guy meant he was perfectly evictable, and was very used to these locations as his offices. He'd even met people who had helped some with the business he was involved in at Starbucks.
After getting a "real job", if I may, one in which the normal rules of going to work and spending the whole day there applied, my friend did have to get used to the old-fashioned office/business setting. He must have missed the more free-wheeling schedule he'd had, and the environment at Starbucks after all those years spent there.
Now comes the Kung Flu. Which businesses were to be shuttered and which weren't was based on the whim of State and local officials. The key word was "essential". Liquor stores - essential (apparently, as they're open), barber shops - not. Big business retail seems to be more essential than small business per ... someone's telling the Governor what the hell he'd better do? Manufacturing, or what's left of it, was not left alone either.
The manufacturing business that my friend works for was told to half-way shutter, letting only a few people stay and work at the facility - so semi-essential? The rest were sent home to work from there. Here comes the ironic part: My friend had missed working from his spot(s) at Starbucks, where he could relax when he wanted to, chat up some girls occasionally, step outside, work at his own hours, etc. Were this work-from-home order done at a time when the Starbucks were open, it'd be a dream come true! They don't care that he's at his very house, but just that he's getting the work done.
But, nooooo... the Starbucks are closed too, so he had to work from his home, which he was not at all used to. He can do some of the above at home, but it's, understandably, not at all the same for him. Will the Starbucks coffee shops open up before he gets called back in to work from the office? It's gonna be close. Man, you can't win for losin'.
Isn't it ironic? Yeah, what kind of songwriter was that Alanis Morrisette, anyway:
"It's rain on your wedding day." That's not irony, you dumb broad, that's Global Climate DisruptionTM!
"It's a black fly in your Chardonnay." What the heck other flies would you expect? That's the normal color of flies, and that's what they do. Enjoy your Chardonnay - it's still better than snails in the food.
"A traffic jam when you're already late." That's not ironic. You should have left earlier, before the traffic. There's an app for that.
"A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break." Uhh, that was probably there before your cigarette break. It was telling you to find a different place to take your cigarette break. Most of us would have gotten that, rather than chalking it up to this "irony" thing.
"It's the good advice that you just didn't take." Like, when the guy told you to look up "irony" in the dictionary before you wrote this song?
Well, that post ended up on a tangent! What are you gonna' do? I'd always wanted to fisk that song. To make up for this behavior, I'd wanted to feature a better song by Miss Morrisette. I had memories of a lot of good songs by her from her time in the mid-1990s. I can't find ANYTHING that I like, at this point.
Instead of a Debbie Downer like that, let's just feature another good band of many out of Athens, Georgia (from the 1970s through 1990s). It's The B-52s with Love Shack from 1989, a half decade before Alanis Morrisette. It's from their album Cosmic Thing. Miss Kate Pierson can really belt out the melody. The guy singer of this "new wave" band seemed to be the Southern version of David Byrne, purposefully (I hope!) acting like a weirdo. There'd have to be a huge overlap on a Venn diagram of Talking Heads and B-52s fans.
* The result of that cave-in to PC is documented in a much-more-recent post called Being a Millennial.
[UPDATED 05/19: ] What? The Talking Heads are from NY City, so they are, I suppose, American. You still don't need a visa to travel to NY City, so yes, the post has been corrected. Thank you, commenter Ganderson. Also, just in, I can't do arithmetic. The Starbucks struggle session was 2 years back, not 3. Thank you, commenter Hail.