Posted On: Thursday - August 8th 2024 6:40AM MST
In Topics: Internets Humor Curmudgeonry Artificial Stupidity Healthcare Stupidity
"We're going paperless.", I'm told, nearly every day now. No, you can't write a check. No, you can't bring the form in person.
OK, we can't continue to live in the '70s. I! GET! THAT! [/old FOX-era Tucker] What used to be "our website" is now "our portal", meaning, what? You can use the app, I guess and maybe cannot use a browser even? It just sounds more modern, is all... That's what it's about. "Don't have a portal? OK, Boomers!"
This particular portal was an entryway that led to our boy being able to play organized sports. It's paperless. Here went. I know longer pick anything but simple obvious passwords now, with too damn many of these things, so if someone decides to hack in and take him off the soccer team, so be it - it's nothing but Communist Kickball anyway.
Then, I'm in, through the portal. It wasn't too bad. There was then that "physical" page, so I got out the tape measure and the blood pressure machine, and put him on the scale. Ooops, but you've got to print this out, and, ooops, go to the doctor.... with... a form.
The doctors' office told us we couldn't just up and come in, because this boy hasn't been there in so long we gotta catch up.* That required going through their portal... cause, they're like... paperless.
This one was much worse. It'll require a 2nd post for some funny and PS-adjacent stuff, but let me say that "2 surveys" turned into 5, one of them with 50 questions or more. That was over half an hour. Through the portal, and around the 6 million dollar flower pots, to the doctor's office we go ... ♫ ♪ ♬
The one Doc I remembered from before, a good guy, was there on a stool in a common area typing stuff into a computer. Seeing as how I had a clipboard in my hand, I asked "I thought we'd gone paperless?" He liked that one.
To be fair, SOME of the papers on the clipboard were for insurance stuff. How lucky was I that I didn't have to get on the insurance company's portal!
It's simple, sonny, whaddya' need a refresher class?
Here's the original:
I read this on Instapundit first. To keep it short:
After a lecture on Cosmology, the Professor was questioned by a little old lady. "Your theory that the sun is the center of the solar system and the earth is a ball which rotates around it has a very convincing ring to it, Professor, but it's wrong. I've got a better theory", she said.
"And what is that, madam?" inquired James politely."
"That we live on a crust of earth which is on the back of a giant turtle."
The Professor decided to gently dissuade his opponent by making her see some of the inadequacies of her position.
"If your theory is correct, Madam," he asked, "what does this turtle stand on?"
"You're a very clever man, Sir, and that's a very good question," replied the little old lady, "but I have an answer to it. And it's this: The first turtle stands on the back of a second, far larger, turtle, who stands directly under him."
"But what does this second turtle stand on?" persisted the Professor, patiently.
To this, the little old lady crowed triumphantly,
"Why, simple! It's turtles all the way down."
* Of course, we are blessed to have heard this.
Comments:
Moderator
Friday - August 9th 2024 7:01AM MST
PS: "Still"? Ha, yeah, it's new to me, M. I'm no early adopter, though - still doing the banking in person.
M
Thursday - August 8th 2024 12:46PM MST
PS
People are *still* using "portal"?
Wow. I was being annoyed by people who obviously didn't know what one was using that word before the turn of the millennium. I used to ask them for a definition. Not one could answer me.
Admittedly part of my impatience was that I never settled in my own mind on a definition, probably because of all the self-botherers yattering on about how we needed one, double quick, and never mind what it was to be used for.
People are *still* using "portal"?
Wow. I was being annoyed by people who obviously didn't know what one was using that word before the turn of the millennium. I used to ask them for a definition. Not one could answer me.
Admittedly part of my impatience was that I never settled in my own mind on a definition, probably because of all the self-botherers yattering on about how we needed one, double quick, and never mind what it was to be used for.
Moderator
Thursday - August 8th 2024 10:18AM MST
PS: I was in there with him, Alarmist, which, come to think of it just now, is kind of odd for that age. Then, I haven't been in 4 or 5 years, again, I very good thing. (My wife may have brought him in for some small thing once in there.)
The Alarmist
Thursday - August 8th 2024 7:46AM MST
PS
Careful there, they might try to chip your kid.
🕉
Careful there, they might try to chip your kid.
🕉