Feline Substance Abuse is No Laughing Matter


Posted On: Monday - August 24th 2026 7:19PM MST
In Topics:   Music  The Dead  Humor



This post is about catnip. It's not like the average American Domestic Shorthair doesn't already have a myriad social problems without it. The younger generation are prone to freaking out at the slightest movement, will climb trees for the sheer hell of it, and run laps on the hardwood floors, drifting on the corners. This usually ends when they turn 9 months to a year old, but still... Also, cats nowadays will eat anything, mac & cheese, broccoli, bell peppers, you name it.

We also have wondered if these feline companions are not actually Spyware for The State.

We're still not sure about that, but anyway, catnip, from the mint family, has the chemical nepetalactone as an ingredient, a compound that repels insects. Upon reading the wiki page on nepetalactones, I see that I should have paid more attention in Organic Chemistry... I mean had I taken it. (It wasn't required for me, and taking "Organic" as an elective seems downright suicidal.) Somewhere in there is the explanation of how catnip is an olfactory drug for cats.

I have not pushed the feline version of "the wacky weed" on a cat since I was a kid. Last time I found a bag of it, someone, a human being this time, thought it WAS the wacky week and brought it home without asking.

That was then. Things have changed since we've had a change in mailmen. The new regular mailman told me that our cat, call him Mr. Meow for Ops Sec, would freak out when he'd walk up to the mailbox. So, the mailman started giving him some treats and also catnip.

It took me a few weeks to put 2 + 2 together and realize why our cat would hang out in the hottest weather on the porch. It wasn't just the treats, as he gets them from us too. He was waiting for the pusher mail man. For weeks, instead of staying on the summer nighttime schedule, he'd hang out outside all day. The mailman may have already come, but this poor addicted bastard would hang out anyway, waiting for that next fix. (It probably didn't help that he's not smart enough to know that his pusher man only came once a day.) Any, even the mildest, suggestions from us, his family, that he had a problem were blown off with the shake of a head or a bite. You think it only happens in other families. Mr. Meow was a Substance Abuser.

We considered an intervention. The problem is, we couldn't really gather any feline friends or others together that Mr. Meow had interacted with because he has no feline friends, and he'd eaten the other animals he'd interacted with.

Interventions don't work with cats, just as they don't work with Mafia families:



We considered forcibly subjecting Mr. Meow to one of those 12-Step Programs - maybe the car ride alone would have scared him straight.

"Hello, my name is Mr. Meow, and I am a catnip addict."
"Meowwww! Name's Francis Soyer, but every cat calls me Psycho. Anyone pees on my corner of the jeep bumper, and I'll kill ya'!"

There's been good news though. There's a new mailman. I wasn't sure if he was just substituting, so I asked him to ask the catnip dealer to cease & desist, but it turns out he's got the route permanently now. He claims he don't know nuthin' 'bout no catnip dealing. Good. It took Mr. Meow about a week to figure out that waiting like a sick addicted druggie on the porch was futile. The candy man would no longer be forthcoming. Withdrawal has gone pretty well, as far as I can tell...

... strangely, he seems to have picked up a liking to old Steppenwolf tunes.



I would have NEVER guessed that this old song, famous from the 1969 movie Easy Rider, was written 6 years prior by Hoyt Axton, of all people. (He seems so easy-going and country.) Hoyt Axton sang another song involving a drug dealer. Della and the Dealer is a much brighter song, and it puts cats in a favorable light.

There are better Steppenwolf songs. John Kay seemed he was not having a good time during the 1960s. These next group of guys, drugs and all, seemed to have handled the '60s much better. (This song popped up when I searched for The Pusher.)

This fast version of The Grateful Dead's They Love Each Other is from into the '70s a bit. The youtube info. says that in that June 9th of '73, the Dead played first for 1 hour and 40 minutes, took a break and then played a 2 hour set, and then did an hour encore there at RFK Stadium in Washington, FS. That's 4 hours and 4 minutes! What a hardworking band. Sorry about the lack of video on this one. Jerry starts his solo at 01:53.



The Dead didn't write so many songs ABOUT drugs, but they wrote and played some of the songs WITH the drugs. One that I recall, though, is The Candy Man. It has an OK tune, but it's too slow and dark - not in my top 200 Dead songs.

Comments:
Adam Smith
Tuesday - August 25th 2026 7:30AM MST
PS: Good morning, Mr. Moderator!

Perhaps I should have started with these...

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/OoEAAOSwlixfD3VM/s-l1600.webp
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/vI8AAOSwZKxnOAEz/s-l1600.webp
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/vuoAAOSwy-5nOAE0/s-l1600.webp
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/efQAAOSwVD5nOAE1/s-l1600.webp
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/gosAAOSwMXVnOAEz/s-l1600.webp

Anyway.. (I'm going to bring forward some of our discussion about vacuum pumps etc. because you asked a few straight forward questions and I'd like to get back to them. But first I'm going to go get my second cup of coffee and check on Baby Girl. Be back soon.)

โ˜ฎ๏ธ

Moderator
Monday - August 24th 2026 9:10PM MST
PS: Oops, OK, I see the arrows now to some great ones. Thanks.
Moderator
Monday - August 24th 2026 9:10PM MST
PS: Good late evening, Adam. That ebay link in your 2nd comment has a picture that would be good for this post. I may swap them out.
Adam Smith
Monday - August 24th 2026 8:26PM MST
PS: Missed opportunity...

https://www.ebay.com/itm/154200051278

(I should have sent this link. It has better pictures.) โ˜ฎ๏ธ

Adam Smith
Monday - August 24th 2026 8:23PM MST
PS: Good evening, Mr. Moderator,

๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘›๐‘–๐‘, ๐‘“๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘š ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘š๐‘–๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘“๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘–๐‘™๐‘ฆ, โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘š๐‘–๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘™ ๐‘›๐‘’๐‘๐‘’๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘ก๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘› ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘”๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ก, ๐‘Ž ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘๐‘’๐‘™๐‘  ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘๐‘ก๐‘ ...

Catnip oil works as well, and possibly better than, deet when it comes to repelling mosquitoes.

Might as well buy something like this for Mr. Meow...

https://www.ebay.com/itm/277570343342
https://www.ebay.com/itm/184380684412

You can probably find a pack where ever you buy seeds.

Cheers! โ˜ฎ๏ธ

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