How about a New International Millenial Bible?

Posted On: Thursday - August 17th 2017 9:07PM MST
In Topics: 
  Humor  Bible/Religion

OK, it's time for a break from 24/7/365 Charlottesville (but more tommorrow or Saturday!)

It's the Mormons who got me thinking of this, but more on that later in the post. It's just that, well, some of the Bible may not be translated perfectly, and that can affect the point of some of the verses - to me that's part of the reason people have different interpretations of the same things. Matthew 22:21 about "rendering unto Caesar ...", is one used to justify obedience to government, so it'll be time to write on that soon, seeing as that doesn't sit well with the Peak Stupidity staff.

Anyway, the King James Version seems the most serious, and is maybe a good translation from it's time, but the wording must be gotten used to. There is a lot about people begetting other people and gnashing of teeth in the Old Testament, and lots of Lo's harken's, and verily's in the New. Peak Stupidity feels it's time, perhaps, for a Millenial Bible, with wording that this new crowd would feel comfortable with.

King James Version:

Part of NMVersion, Luke,

"5 So, it all went down like, as the angels were gone away from them into literally heaven, the shepherds were all Let us now go even unto, like, Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the, like, Lord hath made known unto us. I know, right?

6 So, no, really, they came with haste, and literally found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe, like lying in a literal manger.

It needs work of course. The thing with the Mormons, and I have never had much against them or their religion, is that some of their wording is not that old. I like how Joesph Smith, instead of coming up with some flowery, hard-to-follow wording just goes "This is the place." when the big exodus from Missouri or Illinois got to the destination. That's simple and to the point.

It's a shame to end on a serious note, but regarding the Mormons, their church is a big, big illegal and/or massive immigration booster, which is maybe the only problem I have with them. It's probably not the rank and file, just the big cheeses. As usual, they want the members and the money, and they think the Hispanics may be their new blood that can go on the 2-year missions. Right, you deluded church elders, do you think Mexicans can clean up like these Millenial guys?:

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