Movie Review - "Fight Club" still sucks

Posted On: Wednesday - January 10th 2018 11:07AM MST
In Topics: 
  Humor  Movies

I don't remember if I saw this movie at the theater back when it came out, but I think it was later on DVD. I didn't get it at the time, and now, after seeing it again recently, it still sucks. Perhaps it would have been better to be in the theater with someone else to explain what the point of all that stupid shit was. I remember a Jerry Seinfeld monologue about this. For me, viewing this movie would be kinda like:

"Hey, why did Brad Pitt move into that house? Where did he come from? Wouldn't the owner kick him out?" "How is the narrator guy gonna get stitched up? They never went to the hospital." He seems all better ... " "Shhhhhh!" "Why would Brad Pitt go out with a skank like that? It's the narrator's skank .. why didn't he go pick up that girl? What? Tyler Durden is Brad Pitt?" "No, idiot, Tyler Durden is the narrator!" "Whaattt!? "SHHHHHH!". "How can he beat up on himself? What is the point of ..." "SHHHHH, assholes!" "Hey, screw you, I paid my $8, you come over here and shhhhh me, bitch!"

Actually, that would not be me - that was my alter-ego, Peak Stupidity Tyler, who is no longer welcome at any of the Royal Cinema venues, due to the fighting and bombs and shit ...

Oh, did I spoil it for you? Oops. First rule of fight club: YOU! DO! NOT! TALK! ABOUT! HOW! BAD! THE! MOVIE! SUCKS! (lucky for me, I'm not a member.)

Yeah, about the Rules of Fight Club again:

1) You do not talk about how bad the movie sucks.
2) You do not talk about how bad the movie sucks, even the 2nd time.
3) When someone runs out of popcorn, or has to pee, Fight Club is over.
4) You do not pay more than 25 cents for a cheap China-ripped DVD.
5) If this is your 1st night at the theater where Fight Club is playing, you go next door to see Cool Hand Luke or Smokey and the Bandit for a dollar fifty.
6) "Teens", please, no brawling in the theater.

PS I'll admit that the anti-consumerism and anti-Matriarchal-society theme in the movie does make good points and is supported by the Peak Stupidity blog. All the messed-up mental stuff should have been just left in the book. They change these movies all the time to where they don't resemble the book. Why not "Fight Club II - Return of the Sanity", in which Tyler Durden turns out to be real after all, blows up the Hollywood studios, hacks all of the Lyin' Press with Peak Stupidity posts, and puts all Fight Club members in the cabs of track-hoes, dozers, front-end-loaders, and concrete trucks to BUILD THE WALL?

Really, the part that really suspended my belief, as us "film people" say, was the part where Brad Pitt has a relationship with that skank. If I were Tyler Durden, I wouldn't touch her with the narrators' dick. It's not that she might be a veneral disease carrier... oh no, it's more like she would be a venereal disease ORIGINATOR. Besides, what would Mrs. Pitt, his Mom, have to say when he brought her home?

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