Human Resources - scourge of the Big-Biz world


Posted On: Monday - April 2nd 2018 4:13PM MST
In Topics: 
  Immigration Stupidity  Big-Biz Stupidity

A Human Resources Generalist?



(Yeah, I think I could place her in a good position...)


This first paragraph is just some housekeeping, as I have added a new topic key, Big-Biz Stupidity. It's very easy to do, but I have hesitated adding these as a good many of the older post should have the new topic keys attached. It's time to add a few more new ones, and then go through all 620 posts and see what matches. It's not like we have a search function or anything, ha! Just due to time allotment, it's gonna have to be posting or updating the site, and I've been opting for posting above all.

Anyway, this post is about Big Business, and has the appropriate topic key now. Let's get to the point: It's these damn HR people, mostly women. In case you've lived a charmed life, you would know that the acronym stands for Human Resources, the people formerly known as "personnel". Even the name change represents a step down in status of the employees they aim to hire or help in some way. "Personnel" is fairly plain English, and while the "Human" part sounds more, well, human, I don't feel like a "resource". "We've got $155 million in liquid assets, some $340 million in mechanical assets, including the CATS and Kubotas, and a net cash drain of $55 million in those human resources", and "We need about 40 more of those fluid mechanics engineering resources, say 25 more of those computer programming resources, and get rid of those 10 deadbeat marketing resources", is, I guess, how the company sees it. The Human Resources people are there to collect those resources. That name change was probably 30-40 years ago, and I'm not personelly (get it?) gonna change it, so let me get to the real problem with these human wasted resources.

It's not the administrative part of this HR job I have a problem with. In a big organization, you're gonna need a few people to take care of the health plan, the tax deductions, the vacation time, etc. to let people work at their real jobs. That's what you call, well, used to call, being a clerk, and that term went away even longer ago, I think. There's nothing wrong with it. Someone who works on brand-new software to approve vacation days, and get people signed up for this and that is still just as much of a clerk as the guy who did it on yellow legal pads, and kept open-ring binders in the 1970's. You do know Peak Stupidity HATES euphemisms, right?

It's the hiring part of the job that makes these HR (mostly) women into the tyrants of the working world. This goes back more than 2 decades for me, as, at a technical job, the boss was telling us that he wanted to hire this one guy who had experience at this certain job. "I don't know... we've got to get it through HR" he worried, and rightly so, cause I never saw the guy show up. WTF should the boss (of this group, anyway) not be able to hire whomever he feels like? I was shocked by this revelation. They are middlewomen, and just as people in the FIRE "industries" are nothing but middlemen, they get off on making the productive people bow down to them, due to their power in the hiring process.

HR people KNOW NOTHING about the jobs that they are hiring people to do. If they did, they'd probably be DOING those jobs, rather than making up fancy processes to screen out people. The Peak Stupidity blog staff [uh-huh? - Ed] is most familiar with the software field as far as this piece of stupidity goes. There are thousands of types of scripts or "packages" or "environments" or what-have-you that can be asked for in a job description. Many of these can be learned over a weekend. OK, it may take a while to get faster, but, damn, it's just not any big deal, but these are just mysterious black boxes to the HR women. "Oh, you don't 'have' php? Oooh, this is not gonna work.". "Oh, you use the open-source version of Word. Nah, you're not Big Corp material - I'm so sorry." It's easier just to have a friend that you used to "work for" to back you up for any little piece of software in the job description. Yeah, that's what I'm telling you. Just get the job - ever heard of OJT? That works, if you already have the smarts.

I could tell more stories, but Peak Stupidity doesn't like to reveal all, as you may have noticed. These HR clowns are traveling all over the world, BTW, acting like Queens of the Skies, going to Brazil to hire some people to bring back as cheap labor on H-1B visas, for instance - yes, I've talked to them. Apparently there are not enough smart people here ... well, not that can be bossed around as much as foreigners on "temporary" work visas. Even if you seem quite qualified for a job, you may find out that the ad is in place just to fulfill US law, but the description can be made tighter at will to screen out anyone who may be qualified but is not that specific work-visa guy that the ad was made to ass-cover.

Yet, one has to be on the best side for these people, so it's really not good to bring up any of this material herein during an interview with one of these "generalists". [disclaimer required per Peak Stupidity legal dept.]. The lack of knowledge in the fields that they are hiring for, combined with the abiltiy to force prospective employees to kiss ass, or at the very least, be nice, indeed turns these people into the scourge of the Big-Biz world. Then, since they are part of the corporate dead-mass, you've got to put up with this type of crap:



Whaaaa???


Due to blood pressure concerns the rest about this scourge of the Big-Biz world will be covered by two more short posts, I think, one on having to deal with the HR department when already on the job, and another involving computer-based selection of employees.

Comments:
Moderator
Wednesday - June 5th 2019 8:07AM MST
PS: I'm very sorry you lost that comment. It's probably the only way for me to do this very simple anti-spam, which has worked for 1 1/2 years, believe it or not. If I save the un-PS comments in limbo waiting on another comment as a prompt to fix things, even if I did want to do that manually, then, even if comments don't show, they could blow up the database just the same.

I've had it happen to myself, under my own policy! Haha! "Isn't that ironic .." Yeah, more than the lyrics of that song, it is!

I'll write more pertaining to your last comment later on.

Thanks for writing, as always.
kikz
Wednesday - June 5th 2019 7:12AM MST
PS... uggh, lost a rather lengthy comment, sans PS....
APA (American Psychological Assoc) style, one of a few, is used in academia to cite reputable sources and provide attribution in papers, journals, etc. https://pitt.libguides.com/citationhelp
i find it ironic they are used as gold standard for even STEM curricula.

not a fan of the Psych industry, howevr at least the Psychiatric side are 'real' hold real medical degrees.
the industry manual, the DSM V, categorizes near every normal human emotion as psychopathy.

HR borg, y, time wasters, as if joe worker doesn't have enough on his plate tending his functions, and probably playing clean up for an assortment of AA hires, he/she must be anklebitten/browbeaten by HR for any number of diversity/anti-White/AA/SJW/LGBTxyz initiatives/training........it can be helpful to biz, but their intent is control, which has been and is being met w/some 'resistance to chg' by C level's who have made their mark thru more qualitative means, than data analysis, and don't like being replaced by it in decision making... as adjunct fine, as replacement, no.

y, i've worked in hi-tech telecom (global co) in the C level suite in exec admin capacity..... and state bureaucracy.... what's your background?
glad ya found my early am rant entertaining...
kikz
Moderator
Tuesday - June 4th 2019 12:03PM MST
PS: Hey, Kikz, than you for the great comment! You sound like you know the corporate world very well. (What is APA, BTW?) There is so much waste, but it's not the monetary waste and ROI of these departments that is the worst, at least for the average productive employee. He would just like to do his damn job and be left alone. These people ruin that, and they don't even understand the concept of work "flow" and actually liking the productive projects that you are into.

I hope you comment some more, on the recent posts, Kikz. Thanks.
kikz
Tuesday - June 4th 2019 7:37AM MST
PS....aged F, 56... 'adult' student here. Tech Mgmt MBA, back again for a grad cert in HR. i wanted to learn their secrets.............
it's all pretense, all 'keeping up appearances', this loving, ethical front SHRM puts on. their function(s) and interactions w/actual humans just have to appear useful, and ethical, and environmentally sound to social media. their mantra......in their benevolence, "they will empower the employee by means of a feedback loop"; the employee will tell them how wonderfully they're doing their HR job, and their C level can then bow to the Board, and the CFO, with the repose and Zen of Ghandi, demanding more budget /access to every position/process in the org no matter its technical or scientific complexity.

hiring managers know who they need? [Catherine Hepburn mocking staccato laugh/Philadelphia story]...their new gig is to insinuate themselves into every nook/cranny of an org (laughable in the tech industries), as some sort of all knowing 'retained/inhouse headhunter/kaizen master' Org Borg Mother who overseas the $trategic intere$t$ of the org under color of [insert latest SJW/PC BullShit];caring for the employee frm hire/retire.

yeah, right, sure, Shaniquanona & 'mistress' LGBTXYZ Linda hang their STEM degrees on the walls of their cubes. it's simply a case of getting that plug securely planted in the brain-stem of the necessary evil patriarchal Neo/AA battery who actually does perform valuable work in generating actual revenue, while meeting 'diversity' quotas for the perpetually 'oh-press' whose only marketability is their inter-sectional inter-mural underwater basketweaving and social justice whining degree.

i can provide via my course book, APA citations if needed. APA, that's an entire other Borg Mutha of a conversation that PS may wish to cover in the future...

SHRM is hell bent on control, and justifying their continued existence to the CFO, for their exorbitant costs of their biz unit, and all that expensive sftwr which keeps track of employees, down to blinks/pulse rate /day, got to get that ROI/head, and all that PC 'training' the little furries need; they are utilizing tech's quantitative means to solve staffing issues which are both quantitative/qualitative in nature. a big concern is change management, resistance to change... which of course we mere mortals know... is... futile. resistance is futile...........................

fuk whether any actual work gets done, or revenue generated... that's entirely beside the point of SHRM........

thx for letting me vent..... first visit here... sorry for any incoherence, i've not yet achieved optimal caffeine load today.

kikz
Moderator
Wednesday - May 22nd 2019 10:11AM MST
PS: Thanks for writing in, Mr. Proto. I see you have the skills that Peak Stupidity values in it's employees. The "PS" instructions were a test that you passed with flying colors. Peak Stupidity could really use a guy like you, Gary, Fill out our on-line application with your history since leaving pre-school - no gaps more than 2 days, please. We will run your app through our excellent HR-ware, and them possibly the shredder, possibly not.

Sincerely,

PS Human Resources Department

That story of yours illustrates what's wrong with our PC, feminized culture very well. Thank you. I hope you write in more comments, sir, seriously and am glad you enjoyed the post.
Gary Proto
Wednesday - May 22nd 2019 6:45AM MST
PS Holy Mackerel have you hit hit the true spirit of “The Corporation”.
I was in a position in Research & Development at a major corporation and was let go for not being a “ good fit” by an HR Expert because I was going through a divorce and was keeping that close to my vest as it were.
I was told I wasn’t being honest with them by not divulging what I was going through on a personal level and they had a right to know because I was in their employ. I told them it was none of their business. And they didn’t care for that so I was fired for pretty much asserting my rights. I got the feeling that they felt I was their slave and I was.
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